It's Monday

My dog, Scully has now had two semi-bad days. She hasn't eaten anything yet today and gets very short of breath after she's been outside. Her hind legs aren't working as well as they were a couple of days ago. She is anemic and weak and getting thin and trying to find food that she'll eat is becoming harder and harder.

I still can't see myself taking her into the Vet's office and putting her down. She is a part of our family. She is my buddy. She loves me and the entire family unconditionally. I know that some people think that an animal shouldn't suffer, but neither should people and yet we aren't allowed to put people out of their misery or pain. Scully is my baby and the thought of taking her to the Vet's office and knowing that I'm basically killing her is something that I just can't do right now.

Right or wrong, I have to listen to my gut.

My husband did pay for her 2008 license, and he'd put it off until after our youngest son's 24th birthday on Saturday. We aren't superstitious people but there are certain things, like renewing a license for a year that just might mean that Scully isn't going to make it beyond this week.

Already today, I've had a couple of crying sessions on the floor with Scully. Our son doesn't want to find her dead in the morning as he found our other dog three years ago and I don't blame him. I want to spare him of that, but we did talk about it. We'd decided that seven bad days were our limit and yet she did eventually eat last evening. She is still able to get up to go outside.

I seem to be carrying on my life around Scully. If I have to leave the house, I try to limit the time I'm out. I went to get some more tins of chicken, turkey and even bought some liver for her today. My grocery shopping is basically for her.

I do need to do a big grocery shop at Costco this week, but it will depend upon when my son has some time to help me. Trying to push a heavy cart, lifting heavy items into the cart and then putting all the products in the trunk are very difficult for me due to my bad back and having fibromyalgia.

Thus, my knitting is slowly getting done. I'm almost finished with the triangle shawl made out of Fleece Artist Goldielocks and once I get closer to the end of a project, I just want it finished.

The Lacey hat that I made for a friend fit her and the new Fountain Hat that I'd cast on for her seems like it will fit. She doesn't want me to make her two hats, but I know how much she liked the Fountain Hat that was far too huge for her.

Depression is setting in only because of Scully. Other that her being so ill and dying, I'm very positive about life and trying very hard to be gentle with not only myself but with others.