Early in the morning of April 20, our beloved dog, Scully died. We'd celebrated my birthday the day previous so she had a party, ate pizza crust and had a lot of attention and love. I had a feeling that she was going to die when I settled her on her bed for the night. Her breathing was quite laboured, and even though she was still going outside to pee, she preferred to lie on another bed on the patio.
Her timing was perfect. We all knew that if she hadn't died, we were going to have to put her down on April 22 but I just wanted to get through my birthday which was on April 21. We all had a rough day on the 20th, my real birthday day wasn't much fun for me, and I really felt the loss of her yesterday.
We'd buried her in our backyard and hopefully I'll be able to wander up to her grave in the next month or so.
I did finish the Kukka, by Norah Gaughan that I'd been working on and am enjoying wearing it. Since it is made out of Alpaca, it tends to stretch and I'm reblocking it now because I've been wearing it tied around my abdomen. But it is warm and perfect for our non-Spring like weather.
The knitting class that I'm taking at 88 Stitches, making a flower basket shawl/scarf by Evelyn Clark is slowly coming together. After learning how to add beads with a crochet hook, I ripped back to the 25th row, which was very painful to do, and added beads in three spots. I will be adding beads to the lace edging but I wanted some beads throughout the scarf, but not very many. I'm finally enjoying the pattern and have managed not to make mistakes this time around with the repeat rows. I'm using lifelines of course and they are really making it easier in case I do have to rip back. I'm also counting the stitches after I do each odd row so that if I have too few or too many, I can just redo one row.
I've also been mindlessly knitting a neck scarf that I usually take with me for when I have to wait in lines or for appointments. I just needed to finish something else or just not have to think too much. If I'm focused on the lace pattern I can sometimes forget about losing Scully, but sometimes I just need something to do with my hands that requires no thinking.
Grieving is hard. It has always been hard, but I do know that it will pass. And I'm grateful that we had Scully for 11 years and that she isn't suffering anymore.